We're 60% of the way to our goal of 500 fans, folks! We've come so far, we can't let up now! Mr. Bolling appreciates… I mean, I appreciate your support, and together we will beat that bearded buffoon Charles Darwin (who, by the way, is old! And not just Michael Douglas old. Charles Dickens old!).
As I look out my window and see the streets of San Jose… I mean, New York! I see the streets of New York, and I'm thankful for the opportunity blogging and facebooking has given me to connect with my readers. It has been a… como se dice?… a blessing! Yes, Sr. Bolling is very glad… I mean, I'm very…
Ay caramba. Sr. Bolling, I am so sorry. Our jig is, how you say, up. Please do not fire me. I spent many hours learning how to write, in English, in the manner you instruct: what you call "breezy," "self-referential," "ironic." It is very hard because it seems muy estupido to me. (Charles Darwin? Michael Douglas? I write it, but I do not understand.) But this job — maintaining the online marketing and the blogging and the facebooking by writing as though I am you — has been very good for my family, and my relatives throughout Costa Rica.
But surely you are happy with my progress. 300 Facebook fans must bring you much prestige in the U.S. You are perhaps getting a key to the city, or a parade in your honor. So, if I continue this success, and get you to this goal of 500 fans, very soon, maybe you will forgive this lapse, and allow me to continue writing for/as you?
Lo siento,
Pablo. I mean, Ruben Bolling.